Sunday, 21 September 2014

The anoyingist sister

WALT: write to inform

Success Criteria
  • Create a clear image in the readers mind
  • Have a clear message (big idea)
  • Powerful words (precise, clear)
  • Reread writing and check for impact 
I choose this piece to publish because...I think it is better than my other writing.
I need to practise...Not to copy other peoples writing even when i think they are cool.
I am pleased writing because i tried my best
WALT: edit and publish our writing

Success Criteria
  • Use a font and colour that can be easily read
  • Must make sense
  • Correct spelling
  • Correct punctuation
  • Change at least 3 words to add impact for the reader
It is so so irritateing when my little sister jumps on my bed when i have
just made it. It makes me wild with her… but when I get sick of Gemma
doing it I say to mum that Gemma is being anoying and mum takes Gemma
out of my room and i simply shut my door and lock it. Sometimes i go get my
mum to make it. I get so angry when i have sat down and then mum says to cleen
my room but that is a difourint stary so back on to the story. So from now on every time
my sister has made her bed I will go and jump on her bed because she did it to my
bed so i can do it to her bed then she might stop doing it to my bed.
                                            The end.

It iYou have shared a clear message about how your little sister can be soooo annoying and you have picked some powerful words to help. Remember to reread your writing to make sure it makes sense and the punctuation is correct (remember to use a space after a full stop and a comma).

You have thought about and reflected on your learning. Reflecting about your learning 
helps you to grow as a learner, to think about what was tricky and to set goals.


  1. Yes Kayla she can sometimes be a cheeky monkey. Great to see you using words that describe feelings and that you are making attempts at harder words. Awesome work and a great story.

  2. Very good story Kayla I enjoyed reading this. I am sure Gemma is just playing. I enjoy reading and looking at all your work. I am very happy you are working so hard at school keep up the good work I am very proud of you.
    Dad x